A New Definition of Beauty

 

 

Let’s talk about beauty - and how our idea of beauty can get in the way of our self-care. And about a different way.

What often gets in the way of our self-care is - our self-criticism. I hear this from clients a lot. The process goes something like this: we have an idea of what is beautiful. We feel we don’t quite conform to it. Our (perceived) lack of beauty doesn’t make us feel so great. Which is why we stop hanging out with our bodies, in that tending-to-the-body-way. And that self-care ritual of ours? Well, that is gone, then.

Isn’t it interesting that when it comes to the skin and the body, the ideal is ruthless perfection? It’s not surprising, given the fact that most images of faces and bodies we see either make use of filters or are digitally edited. But seriously, this obsession with perfection, it’s remarkable!

Beauty, obviously, is learned. And our current idea of beauty is way too narrow. So, let’s unlearn it. Which means: we must learn to see again.

That’s really the beginning: the gaze. Changing what we see when we look at ourselves. Do we scan for imperfections? Or do we look for what we like. The arch of your eyebrows. The curve of the cupids bow. The sparkle in your eyes. The strength of your legs. The arch of your feet. Places with hair. Places with no hair. Can you look at yourself with the eyes of an enchanted lover, an adoring parent, or a caring friend? What would your self-care ritual feel like if you approached yourself from that kind of vision? From delight, from adoration.

The second shift we must make is not about seeing, but about sensing beauty. Because beauty is not just a visual, it’s something we experience. We must find our sense of beauty: which is to feel beautiful and to inhabit it. This is what ‚radiant beauty’ means. It comes from how fully we inhabit our bodies. The more present we become to ourselves, the more we radiate this beauty. Tending to ourselves is what feeds our beauty.

Now, products can’t do that for us – but they can bring us back when we swing into these self-critical spells: they can remind us to look after ourselves with love and kindness, and they anchor us. How much energy and time is wasted in these spells of self-doubt! Imagine, if we would learn to snap out of them for good.

For many of us, this is a big shift. It’s not always easy to do – and besides, we are also busy, aren’t we? Taking the time for it, putting it on top of our list of priorities: not always happening. Sometimes it’s easier – and lovelier – to begin in a community. Which brings me to something new here on Radiant Beauty! But more about that in a future newsletter.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy all that this season has to offer.

Ilanta